Self-Esteem, Part 2

Part 2: This portion of the Self-Esteem Series was inspired by a few of my male Facebook and Twitter friends. Whether or not men realize it, or want to accept it, they can, and often do, affect a woman’s self-esteem…especially when the ladies are young. Women, being emotional, and sensitive creatures, use outside opinions of ourselves to assist in shaping our self-image. A woman’s self-image is a prominent factor in determining how low or high her self-esteem is. So, let’s construct a scenario with Mary and John.


Mary and John meet in their undergraduate Sociology class…they are assigned to each other as partners for the first major project. Naturally they exchange phone numbers. Johnny Boy invites Mary to his dorm to work on the project…later that night, she requests him as a friend on FB. He accepts the friend request, and a few hours later, makes the following status: “On God, dude…these bitches need to invest in a pedicure! Lmao! S*it is through! Damn man…and if u think I’m talkin bout u I AM.” The status earned 5 “likes”; 4 guys and 1 girl. Mary looks down at her toes to see two of them topped with chipped polish. She’s now embarrassed, and feels to insecure to be around John. On Monday, she requests another partner for the project…leading to another status: “I can’t stand hos man!!! I swear n*gga hos can’t take the truth! Yeah u right u need somebody else on hood doe!” How does Mary feel now? Like she was wrong for requesting another partner, and like she needs a serious personality makeover.

It’s statuses, and tweets, like the above that can alter a girl’s self-esteem, for the worst.

Well, that’s one way. Men in relationships also have the power to lower a woman’s self-esteem. But woman contribute to this method, too. I hate it when a cuffed man says, “I committed to my girl. B*tches fall back, get off my dick, etc.”...I hate it EVEN MORE when his girlfriend thinks it’s cute! What!? You don’t realize that when y’all are over, he’s going to say the same thing to you??? And why would you want your dude calling a fellow female out of her name like that? Ewww! Bums man, I swear, lol.

Men…stop talking about ladies and calling them out their name. Ladies…the same. When men do it, it just makes them look disrespectful, corny, and just plain whack. But when the ladies do it, it makes them look madstupidbummyhater.com :) Happy reading and God bless!

Self-Esteem, Part 1

I came across of picture of R&B songstress Ciara. The article that included the picture was hating on her…hard. I looked at the picture and thought to myself, “She is a gorgeous woman. I hope she doesn’t pay this sh—any mind.” Then, I just became extremely upset. I flashed back to my own past—and current—struggles with low self-esteem. I thought again, “I wish I could tell EVERY woman in the WORLD how beautiful and gorgeous they are. God doesn’t make mistakes.”


I began to think about why the fight against low self-esteem is such a long and brutal battle. I came up with the following answer: Everybody, and just about everything, contributes to it! Commercials, magazine ads, music, men AND women. That’s what bothers me the most. Women will tear down another woman’s self-esteem and feel accomplished about it! It irks me so bad. I would say it’s mostly young ladies high school age and younger, but it’s grown women throwin’ salt on each other too, and it needs to stop!

Women are so judgmental! Young ladies will post Facebook and Twitter statuses resembling the following: I can’t stand when females wear nappy weaves/ B*tch you ain’t got s*it/ My closet sh*ttin’ on yours ho/That’s why yo n*gga on his way over here/Yo bank account empty b*tch/B*tch think she bad, she ugly as f*ck/I can’t stand to see a fine n*gga with a ugly b*tch/You can’t be a Barbie and you look like a sumu wrestler/At the end of the day, he comin’ home to me…What!? Really!? Are these the kinds of things that women pride themselves on? Do we think material possessions and looks make us women? There are Facebook “Pages” dedicated to this crap, and I guarantee a majority of them are started by women. I swear callin’ a chica “Precious” has become the ultimate insult. We tear each other DOWN, y’all.

And another pet peeve of mine is women referring to themselves and/or other women as b*tches. It’s not classy. It’s not cute. Stop it, please! Sometimes, they’re the same women that try to snap at men about calling women b*tches. What is that? It’s called a double standard. We can’t expect men to respect us if we don’t expect ourselves. Respect. Ladies, you should not, under any circumstances, play second, let alone brag about it on a social networking site!! It’s disgusting! You shouldn’t settle for first. In a relationship, the only position you should is just that, ONLY!!!

We, as women, are tearing down each other’s self-esteem! Make sure the words you speak are sweet as honey, because you will probably have to eat them one day or another. You may be laced in Coogi, and have another woman’s man, but she probably has one key ingredient to being a true lady: CLASS.

Ladies, EVERYWHERE, you are ALL BEAUTIFUL!!!