Part 2: This portion of the Self-Esteem Series was inspired by a few of my male Facebook and Twitter friends. Whether or not men realize it, or want to accept it, they can, and often do, affect a woman’s self-esteem…especially when the ladies are young. Women, being emotional, and sensitive creatures, use outside opinions of ourselves to assist in shaping our self-image. A woman’s self-image is a prominent factor in determining how low or high her self-esteem is. So, let’s construct a scenario with Mary and John.
Mary and John meet in their undergraduate Sociology class…they are assigned to each other as partners for the first major project. Naturally they exchange phone numbers. Johnny Boy invites Mary to his dorm to work on the project…later that night, she requests him as a friend on FB. He accepts the friend request, and a few hours later, makes the following status: “On God, dude…these bitches need to invest in a pedicure! Lmao! S*it is through! Damn man…and if u think I’m talkin bout u I AM.” The status earned 5 “likes”; 4 guys and 1 girl. Mary looks down at her toes to see two of them topped with chipped polish. She’s now embarrassed, and feels to insecure to be around John. On Monday, she requests another partner for the project…leading to another status: “I can’t stand hos man!!! I swear n*gga hos can’t take the truth! Yeah u right u need somebody else on hood doe!” How does Mary feel now? Like she was wrong for requesting another partner, and like she needs a serious personality makeover.
It’s statuses, and tweets, like the above that can alter a girl’s self-esteem, for the worst.
Well, that’s one way. Men in relationships also have the power to lower a woman’s self-esteem. But woman contribute to this method, too. I hate it when a cuffed man says, “I committed to my girl. B*tches fall back, get off my dick, etc.”...I hate it EVEN MORE when his girlfriend thinks it’s cute! What!? You don’t realize that when y’all are over, he’s going to say the same thing to you??? And why would you want your dude calling a fellow female out of her name like that? Ewww! Bums man, I swear, lol.
Men…stop talking about ladies and calling them out their name. Ladies…the same. When men do it, it just makes them look disrespectful, corny, and just plain whack. But when the ladies do it, it makes them look madstupidbummyhater.com :) Happy reading and God bless!
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Self-Esteem, Part 1
I came across of picture of R&B songstress Ciara. The article that included the picture was hating on her…hard. I looked at the picture and thought to myself, “She is a gorgeous woman. I hope she doesn’t pay this sh—any mind.” Then, I just became extremely upset. I flashed back to my own past—and current—struggles with low self-esteem. I thought again, “I wish I could tell EVERY woman in the WORLD how beautiful and gorgeous they are. God doesn’t make mistakes.”
I began to think about why the fight against low self-esteem is such a long and brutal battle. I came up with the following answer: Everybody, and just about everything, contributes to it! Commercials, magazine ads, music, men AND women. That’s what bothers me the most. Women will tear down another woman’s self-esteem and feel accomplished about it! It irks me so bad. I would say it’s mostly young ladies high school age and younger, but it’s grown women throwin’ salt on each other too, and it needs to stop!
Women are so judgmental! Young ladies will post Facebook and Twitter statuses resembling the following: I can’t stand when females wear nappy weaves/ B*tch you ain’t got s*it/ My closet sh*ttin’ on yours ho/That’s why yo n*gga on his way over here/Yo bank account empty b*tch/B*tch think she bad, she ugly as f*ck/I can’t stand to see a fine n*gga with a ugly b*tch/You can’t be a Barbie and you look like a sumu wrestler/At the end of the day, he comin’ home to me…What!? Really!? Are these the kinds of things that women pride themselves on? Do we think material possessions and looks make us women? There are Facebook “Pages” dedicated to this crap, and I guarantee a majority of them are started by women. I swear callin’ a chica “Precious” has become the ultimate insult. We tear each other DOWN, y’all.
And another pet peeve of mine is women referring to themselves and/or other women as b*tches. It’s not classy. It’s not cute. Stop it, please! Sometimes, they’re the same women that try to snap at men about calling women b*tches. What is that? It’s called a double standard. We can’t expect men to respect us if we don’t expect ourselves. Respect. Ladies, you should not, under any circumstances, play second, let alone brag about it on a social networking site!! It’s disgusting! You shouldn’t settle for first. In a relationship, the only position you should is just that, ONLY!!!
We, as women, are tearing down each other’s self-esteem! Make sure the words you speak are sweet as honey, because you will probably have to eat them one day or another. You may be laced in Coogi, and have another woman’s man, but she probably has one key ingredient to being a true lady: CLASS.
Ladies, EVERYWHERE, you are ALL BEAUTIFUL!!!
I began to think about why the fight against low self-esteem is such a long and brutal battle. I came up with the following answer: Everybody, and just about everything, contributes to it! Commercials, magazine ads, music, men AND women. That’s what bothers me the most. Women will tear down another woman’s self-esteem and feel accomplished about it! It irks me so bad. I would say it’s mostly young ladies high school age and younger, but it’s grown women throwin’ salt on each other too, and it needs to stop!
Women are so judgmental! Young ladies will post Facebook and Twitter statuses resembling the following: I can’t stand when females wear nappy weaves/ B*tch you ain’t got s*it/ My closet sh*ttin’ on yours ho/That’s why yo n*gga on his way over here/Yo bank account empty b*tch/B*tch think she bad, she ugly as f*ck/I can’t stand to see a fine n*gga with a ugly b*tch/You can’t be a Barbie and you look like a sumu wrestler/At the end of the day, he comin’ home to me…What!? Really!? Are these the kinds of things that women pride themselves on? Do we think material possessions and looks make us women? There are Facebook “Pages” dedicated to this crap, and I guarantee a majority of them are started by women. I swear callin’ a chica “Precious” has become the ultimate insult. We tear each other DOWN, y’all.
And another pet peeve of mine is women referring to themselves and/or other women as b*tches. It’s not classy. It’s not cute. Stop it, please! Sometimes, they’re the same women that try to snap at men about calling women b*tches. What is that? It’s called a double standard. We can’t expect men to respect us if we don’t expect ourselves. Respect. Ladies, you should not, under any circumstances, play second, let alone brag about it on a social networking site!! It’s disgusting! You shouldn’t settle for first. In a relationship, the only position you should is just that, ONLY!!!
We, as women, are tearing down each other’s self-esteem! Make sure the words you speak are sweet as honey, because you will probably have to eat them one day or another. You may be laced in Coogi, and have another woman’s man, but she probably has one key ingredient to being a true lady: CLASS.
Ladies, EVERYWHERE, you are ALL BEAUTIFUL!!!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Get to Know Me
Hey friends!
I decided to make this post because I don't feel like my readers really KNOW me!! I have a serious issue with that! I've posted these random facts on my Facebook and Twitter pages and NOW I'm giving them to you! Since you are the last to get them, I tossed in a few random facts that the other sites just didn't get! Hopefully, reading this post will help my readers get to know me a little more...Enjoy!
Random Fact Numero Uno:
I was, and STILL AM a Bernie Mac fan. ♥
Random Fact #2:
I love men. Period. Black, white, Persian, Jamaican, African, Amerindian, Japanese, Pilipino, Thai, Italian, Irish, Puerto Rican, Chinese, Russian, Dominican, Mexican, Czech, Polish, Cuban, Walloon and anyone else…in no particular order! ♥
Random Fact #3:
I love learning, and I love to read. I’ve been reading since I was 3 years old. I was reading medical terminology books back then. I’m a nerd. I used to be offended when people called me a nerd, now I call myself one. I seat myself in the front row, always ask questions, complete extra credit when I already have an “A” in the class, and read ahead. ♥
4:
I read the dictionary for leisure.
Random Fact #5:
I love music. A lot of people say it. Few people mean it. You can’t make a statement like “I love music” if you only like one genre of music. Period. I hate to ATTEMPT to have a conversation with some that I THINK appreciates music, and what it does, as much as I do. A simpleminded dipwad that’ll claim ...they love music, but hates rap, country, or rock. You don’t love music, you like a genre. ♥
Random #6:
I’m brutally honest. Nonchalantly. Blunt. Straight up no chaser. Bland, tart, no sugar coating babes. ♥
No. 7:
I hate condiments. All of ‘em suck. I hate condiments. All of ‘em suck. ♥
Eight is great!:
I hate water and milk. Taste like liquid buttcrack. ♥
Numerooooo 9:
I’m a very nurturing person. I love helping other people. It warms my soul with joy, love, comfort, purpose & satisfaction. ♥
THE BIG TEN:
I laugh all of the time, and I love it…I’m always laughing. ♥
11:
I’m as sweet as a chocolate bar covered with icing, gummy bears, honey and sprinkles...until you piss me off. Press the wrong buttons and I make those chicas from ALL 5 seasons of the Bad Girls Club look like a buncha soft, scary, candy apple ass pansies… ’cept Tanisha, Hanna, Tiffany, and Flo. I like them :). ♥
12 is swell...don't cha think?
I hate insects (with the exception of lightening bugs and grasshoppers) & rodents. Makes my skin crawl just thinkin’ about ‘em. ‘Uck! ♥
No.13:
I pray every morning, every night, and before I eat ANYTHING…even if it’s a bag of potato chips or a piece of gum. ♥
Random Fact 14:
I used to write lyrics. I began writing them at the age of thirteen. My mother said that they were way too violent, so I started writing poetry, in an attempt to tone it down a bit. ♥
Random Fact 15:
like things extremely organized and planned out. I often compose daily itineraries, and if I’m one second behind on any task I set out for myself, I get PISSED off...which is absolutely ridiculous. ♥
Random 16:
I have an extremely sensitive conscience. I always feel bad about something I said or did to someone, while others congratulate me for doing or saying it, or laugh hysterically at that person....BUT even if I know I'll feel bad later about saying something, if it's the truth, I STILL say it. ♥
No. 17:
I used to be a MAJOR tomboy…I’m learning to be a girl now though…slowly but surely. ♥
Fact # eighteen is great thing:
I can’t draw worth crap…unless it’s stick figures. I’m a beast when it comes to those stick figures boy!! I can draw stick figure families, stick figure parade, stick figure carnival, stick figure shopping district, basically anything stick figure. ♥
Fact # 19
I make up random songs, but I can't sing. I can make a song out of any one word, like right now I'm singing: "MunichiWA nichiWA! Can you tell me what you got? No you can't! Oh no you can't!" (I'm not even sure if "munichiwa" or "nichiwa" are actual words, but whatever, it's me!) It's what I do all day long. ♥
Fact No. 20
I love to make concuctions! I always have...be it edible or inedible food concuctions, hair concuctions (I love those), skin concuctions, toe fungus, whatever the case may be (the last one was a joke) ! ♥
Random Fact # 21:
I am a Christian and proud to SAY SO!!! I love Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior and I'm proud to say it out loud!!!!!
Well, those are 21 Random Facts for ya! Hope you enjoyed yourself on this wild and random rollercoaster ride! I hope to get on many more with you all in the future! May you all enjoy your very God blessed night!!! ♥♥♥♥♥
I decided to make this post because I don't feel like my readers really KNOW me!! I have a serious issue with that! I've posted these random facts on my Facebook and Twitter pages and NOW I'm giving them to you! Since you are the last to get them, I tossed in a few random facts that the other sites just didn't get! Hopefully, reading this post will help my readers get to know me a little more...Enjoy!
Random Fact Numero Uno:
I was, and STILL AM a Bernie Mac fan. ♥
Random Fact #2:
I love men. Period. Black, white, Persian, Jamaican, African, Amerindian, Japanese, Pilipino, Thai, Italian, Irish, Puerto Rican, Chinese, Russian, Dominican, Mexican, Czech, Polish, Cuban, Walloon and anyone else…in no particular order! ♥
Random Fact #3:
I love learning, and I love to read. I’ve been reading since I was 3 years old. I was reading medical terminology books back then. I’m a nerd. I used to be offended when people called me a nerd, now I call myself one. I seat myself in the front row, always ask questions, complete extra credit when I already have an “A” in the class, and read ahead. ♥
4:
I read the dictionary for leisure.
Random Fact #5:
I love music. A lot of people say it. Few people mean it. You can’t make a statement like “I love music” if you only like one genre of music. Period. I hate to ATTEMPT to have a conversation with some that I THINK appreciates music, and what it does, as much as I do. A simpleminded dipwad that’ll claim ...they love music, but hates rap, country, or rock. You don’t love music, you like a genre. ♥
Random #6:
I’m brutally honest. Nonchalantly. Blunt. Straight up no chaser. Bland, tart, no sugar coating babes. ♥
No. 7:
I hate condiments. All of ‘em suck. I hate condiments. All of ‘em suck. ♥
Eight is great!:
I hate water and milk. Taste like liquid buttcrack. ♥
Numerooooo 9:
I’m a very nurturing person. I love helping other people. It warms my soul with joy, love, comfort, purpose & satisfaction. ♥
THE BIG TEN:
I laugh all of the time, and I love it…I’m always laughing. ♥
11:
I’m as sweet as a chocolate bar covered with icing, gummy bears, honey and sprinkles...until you piss me off. Press the wrong buttons and I make those chicas from ALL 5 seasons of the Bad Girls Club look like a buncha soft, scary, candy apple ass pansies… ’cept Tanisha, Hanna, Tiffany, and Flo. I like them :). ♥
12 is swell...don't cha think?
I hate insects (with the exception of lightening bugs and grasshoppers) & rodents. Makes my skin crawl just thinkin’ about ‘em. ‘Uck! ♥
No.13:
I pray every morning, every night, and before I eat ANYTHING…even if it’s a bag of potato chips or a piece of gum. ♥
Random Fact 14:
I used to write lyrics. I began writing them at the age of thirteen. My mother said that they were way too violent, so I started writing poetry, in an attempt to tone it down a bit. ♥
Random Fact 15:
like things extremely organized and planned out. I often compose daily itineraries, and if I’m one second behind on any task I set out for myself, I get PISSED off...which is absolutely ridiculous. ♥
Random 16:
I have an extremely sensitive conscience. I always feel bad about something I said or did to someone, while others congratulate me for doing or saying it, or laugh hysterically at that person....BUT even if I know I'll feel bad later about saying something, if it's the truth, I STILL say it. ♥
No. 17:
I used to be a MAJOR tomboy…I’m learning to be a girl now though…slowly but surely. ♥
Fact # eighteen is great thing:
I can’t draw worth crap…unless it’s stick figures. I’m a beast when it comes to those stick figures boy!! I can draw stick figure families, stick figure parade, stick figure carnival, stick figure shopping district, basically anything stick figure. ♥
Fact # 19
I make up random songs, but I can't sing. I can make a song out of any one word, like right now I'm singing: "MunichiWA nichiWA! Can you tell me what you got? No you can't! Oh no you can't!" (I'm not even sure if "munichiwa" or "nichiwa" are actual words, but whatever, it's me!) It's what I do all day long. ♥
Fact No. 20
I love to make concuctions! I always have...be it edible or inedible food concuctions, hair concuctions (I love those), skin concuctions, toe fungus, whatever the case may be (the last one was a joke) ! ♥
Random Fact # 21:
I am a Christian and proud to SAY SO!!! I love Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior and I'm proud to say it out loud!!!!!
Well, those are 21 Random Facts for ya! Hope you enjoyed yourself on this wild and random rollercoaster ride! I hope to get on many more with you all in the future! May you all enjoy your very God blessed night!!! ♥♥♥♥♥
Friday, August 06, 2010
More Poetry by Me
Here's three more poems for my lovely readers. Enjoy!
The Beginning
Can I get to know you?
I said if you show me respect
You have to treat me good
I won’t settle for less
And no you can’t be average
Man you have to be the best
Have a personality
That separates you from the rest
I’ve experienced the lames
And I’m done playin’ their games
I used to be a damn pimp
Wastin’ time on these wimps
Now I’m ready to settle down
When I finally find my king
He’ll be sure to get his crown
Ambition
Sometimes when I don’t have anything to write about
I grab my pen and paper and I just let my frustrations out
I have so much animosity you couldn’t even grasp it
The Bible’s one of the only things that’s been able to get me past it
The people surrounding me are so full of bullshit
They live ass backwards and I don’t know what to make of it
I try to give them advice but all they do is belittle me
They say they wanna see me shine
But secretly wish to get rid of me
So I stay on my grind regardless of if they feelin’ me
I bear the mindset of a hustler
While they have mentality of busters
They’re like crabs in a fuckin’ bucket
And they’re content with how they're livin’
Me, I can’t stay in the same state
It’s something called ambition
You should try it.
Naivete'
Don’t say “aww” when you read this
I’m not your charity case
Please try not to piss me off
Just for humanity’s sake
I’ve written two suicide letters
Both dedicated to a special person
I had to let it go
I realized he wasn’t worth it
I try not to let it run me into the ground
I used to be timid and depressed
Sit back and take a look at me now
I don’t know how you feel
But you should be very proud
I haven’t brought you too many problems
I just backed out and shut down
And when I say shut down
I mean shut EVERYBODY out
And people suggested that I let you go
Whenever I heard your alias I got a lump in my throat
But what do they know?
They just want me to be unhappy
When all along it was you draining the joy from me daddy
What can I say? I was naïve
I don’t waste too many tears on it now
I don’t feel it’s worth it anymore
I don’t wanna end my life.
There’s too much left to explore
I love you dearly and
I really wish you the best
So let's cherish the good times
And forget aout the rest.
I hope at least one of them whispered to each of your hearts. ♥
The Beginning
Can I get to know you?
I said if you show me respect
You have to treat me good
I won’t settle for less
And no you can’t be average
Man you have to be the best
Have a personality
That separates you from the rest
I’ve experienced the lames
And I’m done playin’ their games
I used to be a damn pimp
Wastin’ time on these wimps
Now I’m ready to settle down
When I finally find my king
He’ll be sure to get his crown
Ambition
Sometimes when I don’t have anything to write about
I grab my pen and paper and I just let my frustrations out
I have so much animosity you couldn’t even grasp it
The Bible’s one of the only things that’s been able to get me past it
The people surrounding me are so full of bullshit
They live ass backwards and I don’t know what to make of it
I try to give them advice but all they do is belittle me
They say they wanna see me shine
But secretly wish to get rid of me
So I stay on my grind regardless of if they feelin’ me
I bear the mindset of a hustler
While they have mentality of busters
They’re like crabs in a fuckin’ bucket
And they’re content with how they're livin’
Me, I can’t stay in the same state
It’s something called ambition
You should try it.
Naivete'
Don’t say “aww” when you read this
I’m not your charity case
Please try not to piss me off
Just for humanity’s sake
I’ve written two suicide letters
Both dedicated to a special person
I had to let it go
I realized he wasn’t worth it
I try not to let it run me into the ground
I used to be timid and depressed
Sit back and take a look at me now
I don’t know how you feel
But you should be very proud
I haven’t brought you too many problems
I just backed out and shut down
And when I say shut down
I mean shut EVERYBODY out
And people suggested that I let you go
Whenever I heard your alias I got a lump in my throat
But what do they know?
They just want me to be unhappy
When all along it was you draining the joy from me daddy
What can I say? I was naïve
I don’t waste too many tears on it now
I don’t feel it’s worth it anymore
I don’t wanna end my life.
There’s too much left to explore
I love you dearly and
I really wish you the best
So let's cherish the good times
And forget aout the rest.
I hope at least one of them whispered to each of your hearts. ♥
Love
I don’t know too much about love
Never been in a real relationship
When it’s real, it fits like a glove
That’s what the old folks usually tell me
I’ve never shaken hands with love
It’s natural that they know more than me
Will a first date give me a violent shove
Into this word we use so carelessly?
I convince myself I’m better off without it
When I look at the drama by which I’m surrounded
But that’s not true love
That’s just shallow lust
Which one is better?
Which one is more convenient?
Which one is wetter?
Either one you decide
From my life it’s absent
Pay no attention to me y’all
I’m just thinkin’ out loud
I think of million dollar business deals
And no my head’s not in the clouds
I worry about myself still
When will I ever make love to love?
And how will I know if it’s real?
Never been in a real relationship
When it’s real, it fits like a glove
That’s what the old folks usually tell me
I’ve never shaken hands with love
It’s natural that they know more than me
Will a first date give me a violent shove
Into this word we use so carelessly?
I convince myself I’m better off without it
When I look at the drama by which I’m surrounded
But that’s not true love
That’s just shallow lust
Which one is better?
Which one is more convenient?
Which one is wetter?
Either one you decide
From my life it’s absent
Pay no attention to me y’all
I’m just thinkin’ out loud
I think of million dollar business deals
And no my head’s not in the clouds
I worry about myself still
When will I ever make love to love?
And how will I know if it’s real?
Friday, July 30, 2010
Expressing Myself
I've written some poetry. I'm semi-confident about it, so I'm strongly considering publishing it. Well, I thought I'd share it with you all, so here you go!
I may not be a first choice, but I’m an excellent choice.
I have some important things to say, so listen to my voice.
I don’t attempt to walk around in someone else’s skin, because my own fits me just fine.
My life may not be perfect, but I claim it as mine.
From the right ways I have strayed away,
but just look at the beautiful woman I have grown into today.
Take me as I am...
...or watch me as I walk away
asIam
I may not be the prettiest woman or have the body of a supermodel.
I may not be a first choice, but I’m an excellent choice.
I have some important things to say, so listen to my voice.
I don’t attempt to walk around in someone else’s skin, because my own fits me just fine.
My life may not be perfect, but I claim it as mine.
From the right ways I have strayed away,
but just look at the beautiful woman I have grown into today.
Take me as I am...
...or watch me as I walk away
Friday, March 05, 2010
Apologies & Updates
Hello World!
I am so sorry for the hiatus and I will not make excuses. In further news...I finally uploaded a video to YouTube!! Yes, I am getting bold! LOL! http://www.youtube.com/derumlojo has been my YouTube account for awhile, but my first video was recorded and uploaded on February 25, 2010, and can be found here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ugK0aAO50c! Hopefully there will be more to come...and excitement ensues...
In further news, I have been inspired by several ladies on YouTube to go natural! I do want to go natural without the "big chop", however. I have found that a lot of ladies experience a dramatic increase in shedding around their 17th week post-relaxer, so I may relax around week 15. I am currently three weeks post-relaxer.
Lastly, I have finally discovered the importance of tags in the cyber world, so I will be using them from now on! *Such a slow bunny!* LOL
I love you guys, God bless you, and thanks SO much for reading!
I am so sorry for the hiatus and I will not make excuses. In further news...I finally uploaded a video to YouTube!! Yes, I am getting bold! LOL! http://www.youtube.com/derumlojo has been my YouTube account for awhile, but my first video was recorded and uploaded on February 25, 2010, and can be found here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ugK0aAO50c! Hopefully there will be more to come...and excitement ensues...
In further news, I have been inspired by several ladies on YouTube to go natural! I do want to go natural without the "big chop", however. I have found that a lot of ladies experience a dramatic increase in shedding around their 17th week post-relaxer, so I may relax around week 15. I am currently three weeks post-relaxer.
Lastly, I have finally discovered the importance of tags in the cyber world, so I will be using them from now on! *Such a slow bunny!* LOL
I love you guys, God bless you, and thanks SO much for reading!
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